My Story (or at least some of it)

I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. Above all of this I am a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ.

Although, it didn't always used to be this way.

When I was younger I was wreckless and rebellious. I was a deliquent and did many, many things I was not supposed to do. I was very manipulative and had many different faces. I drank and did drugs and witnessed many different things a young person should never have to see. I did believe in God but truly thought He had given up on me and therefore I did not like or respect Him.

Little did I know He had a plan for me.

One day, while drinking myself silly on my balcony with some friends, I heard an inner voice ask me "What the hell are you doing? You deserve so much better than this!" (I believe in treatment they call that a moment of clarity. ) Of course it didn't stop me from drinking that night but it did start a chain reaction of events that lead me to where I am today.

I did check myself into treatment not long after that event and I have been sober every since. That was on March 3, 2000.

Since that time I have graduated from college with a B.S. in Geography specializing in cultures. I have found the love of my life, Jeff, and we got married on May 27, 2006. Very soon after that we got pregnant (surprise!) and we had Gracie on March 17, 2007. We moved to SC in June of 2007 and we had our son, Donovan, on February 10, 2010.

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have the love of a good man, 2 beautiful children, the support and love of a wonderful family and amazing friendships that have lasted through good and bad. I know that God has a purpose for my life and I am so grateful that He has given me a second chance at living.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Patience

I know what you are thinking.  "Don't say it too loud!  God might hear you!"
This is something I struggle with from time to time.  I am doing better in some areas when it comes to patience and other areas I am really stumbling.  I do tend to get an instant gratification attitude when it comes to some things and some people.  I want things done the way I want them done and I want you to do it now!  (Sound familiar?)
God didn't say patience was going to be easy but He does show me it is mandatory.  I have to learn patience in order to see the true beauty of something and to receive the knowledge and wisdom I am supposed to receive out of any situation.  Through patience comes understanding.
Many times I feel it would just be easy to get things done my way and I could probably do it faster.  So move over God, I got this.  I'm in control!  And oh how quickly I mess everything up!
And then I have the nerve to turn to God and say, "Here you go!  You clean it up cause I can't do it!"  Just like a child says to the parent.
I must hear this from Grace at least once a day when it is time to clean up the toys.  "The mess is too big mommy!" I tell her, "I didn't make the mess, but I will help you clean it up because I love you.  And that's what we do when we love someone....we help each other."
I think this is what God says to us.  "I didn't make the mess but I will help you clean it up because I love you."
I am so glad God doesn't lose patience with me.  Every time I mess up, He's there to help me clean up.  He loves me in spite of me and my character defects.  He is helping me work on my patience by giving me opportunities to do so.  He is giving me strength to help see me through the times I want to step in and take over.  And He reminds me by being patient there will be much bigger and greater blessings than I could have ever hoped for.
But all I have to do....is patient.
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