Patience

I know what you are thinking.  "Don't say it too loud!  God might hear you!"
This is something I struggle with from time to time.  I am doing better in some areas when it comes to patience and other areas I am really stumbling.  I do tend to get an instant gratification attitude when it comes to some things and some people.  I want things done the way I want them done and I want you to do it now!  (Sound familiar?)
God didn't say patience was going to be easy but He does show me it is mandatory.  I have to learn patience in order to see the true beauty of something and to receive the knowledge and wisdom I am supposed to receive out of any situation.  Through patience comes understanding.
Many times I feel it would just be easy to get things done my way and I could probably do it faster.  So move over God, I got this.  I'm in control!  And oh how quickly I mess everything up!
And then I have the nerve to turn to God and say, "Here you go!  You clean it up cause I can't do it!"  Just like a child says to the parent.
I must hear this from Grace at least once a day when it is time to clean up the toys.  "The mess is too big mommy!" I tell her, "I didn't make the mess, but I will help you clean it up because I love you.  And that's what we do when we love someone....we help each other."
I think this is what God says to us.  "I didn't make the mess but I will help you clean it up because I love you."
I am so glad God doesn't lose patience with me.  Every time I mess up, He's there to help me clean up.  He loves me in spite of me and my character defects.  He is helping me work on my patience by giving me opportunities to do so.  He is giving me strength to help see me through the times I want to step in and take over.  And He reminds me by being patient there will be much bigger and greater blessings than I could have ever hoped for.
But all I have to do....is patient.

Books and Patience

I, for the longest time, was not a reader. I didn't like to read. In fact, most of the time when I read a book it made me feel dumb and slow. My mind would always wonder and the books could not keep my attention.

As an adult I have come to enjoy reading a little bit more. Probably because I get to pick what I want to read now. The problem I have now is the time to read. But I am learning to manage my time for me a little bit better.

I just finished (today in fact) a book my cousin gave to me called 'Redeeming Love' by Francis Rivers. This is an amazing book. It is a christian/inspirational love story about a girl who overcomes her horrid past and how God's love and grace can truly be forgiving. The book is based off of the story of Hosea and Gomer in the bible.

When I first started reading this book I really didn't want to go any further than the prologue. It was very depressing and sad to read about this little girl and all the pain she was going through. I contacted my cousin and asked why on earth she would give me such a horrible book. She told me to just keep reading and I did. And I am so glad I did.

I can relate so much to this woman in the book. Granted my childhood was no where near the tragedy of hers but many things that happened to her has also happened to me. So I completely understand her emotions and anger and her desire to keep them tucked away inside.

The ending of the book, however, is what really hit home with me today.

If you have been reading my blog you know that I have been trying to realize what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Which direction should I take.

At the end of the book this woman is based with the same problem. Not knowing where to go, she finally turns to God. (Which my previous blog explains how I just did the same thing.) And then she was patient and waited for an answer. And God presented the opportunity.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

I don't know why but it just hit me after reading this book. I swear it was like he whispered that in my ear right when I closed the book.

So I made the decision to give into Him and be patient. (Oh my mother would be thrilled!) I realize there are probably many things that have to fall into places in order for God to present me my opportunity. And just like everything else, those things take time.

So thank you to my sweet cousin for passing this book along to me. You knew more than I how much I needed it!