Connecticut

     There are so many things that happen in this world that we can not explain.  We don't know why bad things happen to good people or why bad people seem to get good things handed to them.  These are phenomenons that can't be explained.

     When I heard about the shooting at the school in Connecticut today, I was deeply saddened.  It tore up my heart and mind at how cruel and unusual this world can be.  I think it especially hit home because I have a daughter who is in Kindergarten.  It is unbearable to think of what these parents, families, and friends are going through.  Not just for the children, but for the staff and the family the killer left behind.  The victims are not the only ones suffering.  Adam Lanza's family is probably humiliated and heart broken at their loved one doing such a horrific act and then taking his own life.  My heart and prayers go out to them as well.

     I have seen several posts today from people claiming that they 'hope this young man burns in hell for eternity'.  'Hell is where this young man belongs.' What was so troubling is I know these people (at least some of them) claim to be Christians.

     I believe God will judge him and his acts for He is the only one who has the right to judge.  For me to hope and pray that this man should be condemned for all eternity is not my place.  The bible states in
Matthew 7:2, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

    There have also been mentions of, "Where is God?"  "If God is so great, He could have stopped this?" And so on.
    From what I understand, God is not a knight in shining armor.  He is not a genie in a bottle.  He is not going to ride in on His horse and save the day every time something bad happens.  We can't just rub a lamp and He will appear and grant us serenity and good tidings.
    Bad, horrible, terrible things are going to happen.  Our faith and beliefs will be tested constantly.  That does not mean He is not there with us.  That does not mean that He doesn't love us.  Does He have to the power to stop all this madness and chaos?  Absolutely!
    But why would He?  Why would He stop all the harmful things when we don't even give him credit for the amazing miracles that are witnessed and good things  seen daily?  We, as a society, seem to delight in taking credit for things and events that are good and meaningful, not realizing those things would not even happen without the help of God.
    Why would He come flying in and save the day when we push Him out of our lives so easily when we think we don't need Him?  And then we have the nerve to beg Him for help when things get crazy, just to push Him away again when things calm back down.  You can't tell someone they aren't wanted and then wonder why they don't appear to be around when you need them.  Life doesn't work that way and I don't believe God does either.
    But what I do know is that He is faithful and loving and He will never leave us.  Even in these moments of doubt and despair, He is there us.  He is patient and strong.  He has overcome the world and He can help us overcome this hurt.
     I also know that He does not waste a hurt.  There is a purpose and reason for everything, even the terrible events like today.

     It is real easy to blame someone.  To blame God for not saving the day and stopping this act. Adam Lanza for taking the lives of many innocent people. His parents for not getting him the help he so desperately needed. The healthcare system for not providing the right kind of help and care he needed.  The government for not making healthcare and counseling possible for a person such as Adam.  The school officials for not having their doors locked during school hours.  But focusing on the negative will only make the pain worse and last longer.  Focusing on Him and what we need to take and learn from this tragedy will help us move forward.

     God- I know there are things in this world we don't understand.  I think things happen and it makes us angry and frustrated and doubtful.  The hurt and pain can be so great and make us bend to the point we feel we will snap into two.  The town in Connecticut and the many people associated with it are grieving tonight.  So many lives were taken today in a way that no human should have to experience.  Please be with the families of all those affected by this tragedy.  Please bring comfort, peace, patience, and understanding (if it is possible for us to understand).  I pray that those people killed today, young and older, all knew of you and I hope that this event does not cause anyone to turn away from you.  I pray that the angels from your kingdom brought the victims home today and that they are rejoicing in meeting you, My heavenly Father and brother Jesus, for their pain and suffering is over.  I know we will all meet again when it is time for the rest of us to come home too.  And dear God I thank you for the time you have given me with my earthly family.  For I know it is short and precious and so easily taken for granted.  I am not deserving, yet you give so freely.  Thank you.  I love you and believe in your will, even when I don't understand it.  Amen.

Inconvenient

This is something that has been coming up a lot lately for me. Probably has something to do with our series right now in church but also because I am about to make some life changing decisions, including going back to school.

I am very excited about this venture. I know this is what God wants me to do and pursue but when I stop and think about what all it is going to entail, it really starts to feel like an inconvenience. I have so much going on already with life and I really don't need to add one more thing. Especially something big like school.

I have done the 'school thing' before and I know how much work this is truly going to be. I got my Bachelors before I had children and a life that involves more than just me. Now to add that kind of work load on top of my life now is truly an overwhelming thought.

So I have been praying about this and asking God how exactly am I supposed to do this. And basically it comes down to I am going to have to give some things up. Ok...what do I give up? How can I make this change more convenient for me?

The truth is this is going to be inconvenient to my life. Period. Yes I am going to give up doing a few things for a while but there are many things I simply can not just give up.

So I started thinking if Jesus ever felt this way. Was He every overwhelmed with life and what that all entails? Did He ever say we are too inconvenient to pursue and love because His life is just too hectic at the moment? Picture the soldiers coming to take him away to go before Pontius Pilate and Jesus saying, "Ya know this isn't really going to work for me today. I have so much going on right now. Check back with me in about 3 months." (In case you are wondering, that didn't happen.)

The truth is this new adventure is only going to bring me closer to Him. It will be inconvenient in some ways but the rewards far out weigh all the troubles. He gave His all just show how much he loves and believes in me. He created me for a purpose and he has a plan. And I don't want to have the attitude of inconvenience when it comes to His great plan for me.

God's Plan

I know we have all heard that God has a plan but what exactly does that mean? I am sure it means something different for everyone.

I have been going back and forth about what His plan is for me. What should I be doing with my life? For quite sometime now He has been telling me to sit still and wait. Of course I was just reluctant to do this, but after must resistance on my part I did indeed sit still and wait.

After a few months I brought up the topic again to God. I asked Him again what I should be doing with my life. He lead to talk with friends and family to help me. He helped me keep my ears and my mind open (and my mouth shut) so I could listen to what He had to tell me.

Well last night I had a good conversation with God. I was journalling and I remembered (or you could say He nudged me) to take some tests my church and a good friend of mine have been telling me about.

I took these tests online and both of tests showed my spiritual gifts, my personality type, and some jobs I would best be suited for. One of the top jobs is counseling. This is a topic that has been brought up to me many times over the last several years. I have always been interested in this line of work.

So I asked Him if this is what He really wanted me to do. Is this what I am supposed to do? In my heart I believe He said yes.

Then I asked Him "What if I am not very good at it?"

You know what he said? He said, "Why would I design you for something you wouldn't be good at?"

He has a good point!

So I am looking into schooling to get my education and certifications under me. I feel like I am ready to start this journey. If this is where He is leading me, I will follow!

Uncomfortable

I have had some things come up lately that have really just made me uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in some of my surroundings and uncomfortable in my own skin.

I have found myself asking God why we have to experience certain things. Why can't some things just be left alone.

Well sure enough God answered me. Lately I have been reading and studying Romans. An amazing book of the bible packed with so many great tools!

In Romans 5:3-5 it states "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

On the very next page in the CR bible there is a character study. In this particular character study it talks about the trials and sufferings we endure. It says' "As God's children we begin to recognize that the path of trials, when traveled with perseverance, improves our character. And God is more interested in our character than in our comfort. Our improved character may be identified as an informed hope and a deepened experience of God's love. That Christ lives in us becomes apparent when our endurance of suffering differs from that of an unbeliever."

I have heard suffering explained to me many different ways and why we have to suffer in life. All other explanations never made much sense to me.

This explanation made sense! I don't know if I am just more open to it now or what the difference is. I completely understand character building.

So I know now that the things and situations that happen in my life that make me uncomfortable are actually character building exercises. God always wants me to step out of my comfort zone and he works in me to be what he designed me for. It somehow makes some things easier to handle I guess. But I am glad when the tough stuff comes up I have a good teacher by my side!

Conditional Christian

This is a topic that has been buzzing around in my mind for the past week. I am not quite sure where the term came from or why it even popped into my head.

According to Webster's Dictionary:

Conditional means "Containing or depending on a condition or conditions; made with limitations; not absolute; made or granted on certain terms. A conditional promise is one which is to be performed, when something else stipulated is done or has taken place."

Christian means "A real disciple of Christ; one who believes in the truth of the Christian religion, and studies to follow the example, and obey the precepts, of Christ; a believer in Christ who is characterized by real piety."

Just looking at these definitions it seems like these 2 words should not even go together. To truly be a Christian there should be no conditions or limitations to your faith and love for God. He did not put conditions on us when He sent his only son to die for our sins.

But I know as humans we have a tendency to put conditions on just about anything, including our beliefs.

I would have to say I am guilty of this too. I find myself not always have faith things will turn out and worrying about situations that are not under my control. That's just like saying I trust God but not really over this one situation (for whatever reason). Worry is actually a form of not trusting God. So basically this is just like putting conditions on my relationship with God.

I also find myself not giving Him glory and praise as much as I should. In a way that's kind of like taking credit for the good things and situations in my life; giving all the glory to myself or other things. Not acknowledging something is ignoring it.

These are just examples and I really could go on.

In Celebrate Recovery and in AA there are steps to take to help work through the issues and situations in your life. Steps that help you overcome obstacles. The first step is admitting there is a problem and that my life is unmanageable.

So I guess God planted this term in my mind and heart to get me started on a new journey. I see how I have been putting conditions on my Christian faith and even though my life is not unmanageable as of yet, without putting Christ at the center of my life and under every circumstance, I recognize how my life would be complete chaos and totally unmanageable.

A man, a flood and God

There was a very heavy rain storm in this small town and the town began to flood due to the amount of rain. There was a man inside his home that was certain that God would come a save him. The town began to evacuate because the rain was not letting up and the waters were getting deeper. The mans next door neighbor offered a ride to the man but his response was simply, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Some time past and the waters became deeper so the man had to move up to the second floor of his house. Another boat came by and the passengers shouted to the man to come aboard the boat to get to safety. The man simply replied, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Some more time past and the waters began to get so deep that the man had no choice but to move up to the roof of the house. A third boat came by and offered the man help and begged him to please get in the boat so they could take him to safety. The man simply replied, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Sadly the man drowned in the flood.

When the man got to heaven he immediately demanded to see God. When he was taken to God he said to Him, "I had faith in You all my life. I never doubted You. And when I needed you the most, You weren't there. Why didn't You save me from the flood?"

God said, "Didn't you see the 3 boats I sent for you?!"

This story crosses my mind from time to time and I have always found it interesting. I think some of us get so consumed with life and even though we want help, we don't ask for it or even take it when it's offered. Some of us get caught in waiting on God to show up and help that we forget He works through people. We fail to see He is in all of us and He wants to help us every step of the way. He truly wants what is best for us.

We may not always agree on what is best for us. Someone told me once that Gods will and our will are actually the same but we struggle over which path is better to take. We all want to choose our own path and have control over our lives, usually because we think our path will be easier. But Gods will is always better and the path He leads us down might be more uncomfortable and difficult but will have a much better reward.

God said we should seek Him first. I know it's real easy to put ourselves first and to focus our view on our own little worlds. I think if we could just look past ourselves just a little bit, step outside of our comfort zones and what we are used to, we would see things beyond our imagination. We would see and begin to know what we are truly capable of doing and being. We could even start to come to an understanding with each and we could all know peace.