Inconvenient

This is something that has been coming up a lot lately for me. Probably has something to do with our series right now in church but also because I am about to make some life changing decisions, including going back to school.

I am very excited about this venture. I know this is what God wants me to do and pursue but when I stop and think about what all it is going to entail, it really starts to feel like an inconvenience. I have so much going on already with life and I really don't need to add one more thing. Especially something big like school.

I have done the 'school thing' before and I know how much work this is truly going to be. I got my Bachelors before I had children and a life that involves more than just me. Now to add that kind of work load on top of my life now is truly an overwhelming thought.

So I have been praying about this and asking God how exactly am I supposed to do this. And basically it comes down to I am going to have to give some things up. Ok...what do I give up? How can I make this change more convenient for me?

The truth is this is going to be inconvenient to my life. Period. Yes I am going to give up doing a few things for a while but there are many things I simply can not just give up.

So I started thinking if Jesus ever felt this way. Was He every overwhelmed with life and what that all entails? Did He ever say we are too inconvenient to pursue and love because His life is just too hectic at the moment? Picture the soldiers coming to take him away to go before Pontius Pilate and Jesus saying, "Ya know this isn't really going to work for me today. I have so much going on right now. Check back with me in about 3 months." (In case you are wondering, that didn't happen.)

The truth is this new adventure is only going to bring me closer to Him. It will be inconvenient in some ways but the rewards far out weigh all the troubles. He gave His all just show how much he loves and believes in me. He created me for a purpose and he has a plan. And I don't want to have the attitude of inconvenience when it comes to His great plan for me.

God's Plan

I know we have all heard that God has a plan but what exactly does that mean? I am sure it means something different for everyone.

I have been going back and forth about what His plan is for me. What should I be doing with my life? For quite sometime now He has been telling me to sit still and wait. Of course I was just reluctant to do this, but after must resistance on my part I did indeed sit still and wait.

After a few months I brought up the topic again to God. I asked Him again what I should be doing with my life. He lead to talk with friends and family to help me. He helped me keep my ears and my mind open (and my mouth shut) so I could listen to what He had to tell me.

Well last night I had a good conversation with God. I was journalling and I remembered (or you could say He nudged me) to take some tests my church and a good friend of mine have been telling me about.

I took these tests online and both of tests showed my spiritual gifts, my personality type, and some jobs I would best be suited for. One of the top jobs is counseling. This is a topic that has been brought up to me many times over the last several years. I have always been interested in this line of work.

So I asked Him if this is what He really wanted me to do. Is this what I am supposed to do? In my heart I believe He said yes.

Then I asked Him "What if I am not very good at it?"

You know what he said? He said, "Why would I design you for something you wouldn't be good at?"

He has a good point!

So I am looking into schooling to get my education and certifications under me. I feel like I am ready to start this journey. If this is where He is leading me, I will follow!

Uncomfortable

I have had some things come up lately that have really just made me uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in some of my surroundings and uncomfortable in my own skin.

I have found myself asking God why we have to experience certain things. Why can't some things just be left alone.

Well sure enough God answered me. Lately I have been reading and studying Romans. An amazing book of the bible packed with so many great tools!

In Romans 5:3-5 it states "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

On the very next page in the CR bible there is a character study. In this particular character study it talks about the trials and sufferings we endure. It says' "As God's children we begin to recognize that the path of trials, when traveled with perseverance, improves our character. And God is more interested in our character than in our comfort. Our improved character may be identified as an informed hope and a deepened experience of God's love. That Christ lives in us becomes apparent when our endurance of suffering differs from that of an unbeliever."

I have heard suffering explained to me many different ways and why we have to suffer in life. All other explanations never made much sense to me.

This explanation made sense! I don't know if I am just more open to it now or what the difference is. I completely understand character building.

So I know now that the things and situations that happen in my life that make me uncomfortable are actually character building exercises. God always wants me to step out of my comfort zone and he works in me to be what he designed me for. It somehow makes some things easier to handle I guess. But I am glad when the tough stuff comes up I have a good teacher by my side!

Celebrate Recovery: Principle 7 Prayer

"Dear God, help me to set aside the hassles and racket of the world, so I can focus my mind and listen just to you for the next few minutes. Help me to get to know you better. Help me to better understand your plan and purpose for my life. Father, help me to live this day within the boundaries of today, seeking your will and living this one day as you would have me live it."

WOW! I was reading my Celebrate Recover bible this evening before bed and this is the prayer I came across while looking over the lesson for this upcoming week. I really, really needed that. This is a prayer I need to repeat everyday. I can so easily get caught up in the day and start to project my thoughts into the future. I need to remember that each day is important and deserves the attention it deserves. Each day is a day the Lord created for us and we should rejoice and be glad in it...just like the song says!

This prayer just really spoke to me tonight because this is what I have been struggling with.

I am so thankful for this program Celebrate Recovery. It is definitely helping me grow and strengthening my relationship with Jesus Christ.

The 31 Year Old Toddler

That's pretty much what I feel like right now. A big baby.

Lately I have been talking to God about the direction I should take with my life. I really feel like I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing with my life. So I have been asking God questions and pursuing different avenues I could go down. All of which I am getting told to sit still and wait. I am right where I am supposed to be at this moment in time. I know this means God is working on his big plan and I should just sit still and wait my turn.

But I don't want too :(

And that's why I feel like a big baby. I feel like I am a toddler and God is just trying to get me to sit still while I keep running around and getting distracted with other things. (and I have a small glimpse on how God feels because I experience that daily with my kids.)

So that's pretty much where I am at. I am going to do His will because I know that is what is best. I usually just screw things up if I do it my way. But that doesn't mean I have to like it right now.

But I know it will all work out perfectly in the end if I just listen and do what I am told.

Conditional Christian

This is a topic that has been buzzing around in my mind for the past week. I am not quite sure where the term came from or why it even popped into my head.

According to Webster's Dictionary:

Conditional means "Containing or depending on a condition or conditions; made with limitations; not absolute; made or granted on certain terms. A conditional promise is one which is to be performed, when something else stipulated is done or has taken place."

Christian means "A real disciple of Christ; one who believes in the truth of the Christian religion, and studies to follow the example, and obey the precepts, of Christ; a believer in Christ who is characterized by real piety."

Just looking at these definitions it seems like these 2 words should not even go together. To truly be a Christian there should be no conditions or limitations to your faith and love for God. He did not put conditions on us when He sent his only son to die for our sins.

But I know as humans we have a tendency to put conditions on just about anything, including our beliefs.

I would have to say I am guilty of this too. I find myself not always have faith things will turn out and worrying about situations that are not under my control. That's just like saying I trust God but not really over this one situation (for whatever reason). Worry is actually a form of not trusting God. So basically this is just like putting conditions on my relationship with God.

I also find myself not giving Him glory and praise as much as I should. In a way that's kind of like taking credit for the good things and situations in my life; giving all the glory to myself or other things. Not acknowledging something is ignoring it.

These are just examples and I really could go on.

In Celebrate Recovery and in AA there are steps to take to help work through the issues and situations in your life. Steps that help you overcome obstacles. The first step is admitting there is a problem and that my life is unmanageable.

So I guess God planted this term in my mind and heart to get me started on a new journey. I see how I have been putting conditions on my Christian faith and even though my life is not unmanageable as of yet, without putting Christ at the center of my life and under every circumstance, I recognize how my life would be complete chaos and totally unmanageable.

A man, a flood and God

There was a very heavy rain storm in this small town and the town began to flood due to the amount of rain. There was a man inside his home that was certain that God would come a save him. The town began to evacuate because the rain was not letting up and the waters were getting deeper. The mans next door neighbor offered a ride to the man but his response was simply, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Some time past and the waters became deeper so the man had to move up to the second floor of his house. Another boat came by and the passengers shouted to the man to come aboard the boat to get to safety. The man simply replied, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Some more time past and the waters began to get so deep that the man had no choice but to move up to the roof of the house. A third boat came by and offered the man help and begged him to please get in the boat so they could take him to safety. The man simply replied, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Sadly the man drowned in the flood.

When the man got to heaven he immediately demanded to see God. When he was taken to God he said to Him, "I had faith in You all my life. I never doubted You. And when I needed you the most, You weren't there. Why didn't You save me from the flood?"

God said, "Didn't you see the 3 boats I sent for you?!"

This story crosses my mind from time to time and I have always found it interesting. I think some of us get so consumed with life and even though we want help, we don't ask for it or even take it when it's offered. Some of us get caught in waiting on God to show up and help that we forget He works through people. We fail to see He is in all of us and He wants to help us every step of the way. He truly wants what is best for us.

We may not always agree on what is best for us. Someone told me once that Gods will and our will are actually the same but we struggle over which path is better to take. We all want to choose our own path and have control over our lives, usually because we think our path will be easier. But Gods will is always better and the path He leads us down might be more uncomfortable and difficult but will have a much better reward.

God said we should seek Him first. I know it's real easy to put ourselves first and to focus our view on our own little worlds. I think if we could just look past ourselves just a little bit, step outside of our comfort zones and what we are used to, we would see things beyond our imagination. We would see and begin to know what we are truly capable of doing and being. We could even start to come to an understanding with each and we could all know peace.