My Story (or at least some of it)

I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. Above all of this I am a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ.

Although, it didn't always used to be this way.

When I was younger I was wreckless and rebellious. I was a deliquent and did many, many things I was not supposed to do. I was very manipulative and had many different faces. I drank and did drugs and witnessed many different things a young person should never have to see. I did believe in God but truly thought He had given up on me and therefore I did not like or respect Him.

Little did I know He had a plan for me.

One day, while drinking myself silly on my balcony with some friends, I heard an inner voice ask me "What the hell are you doing? You deserve so much better than this!" (I believe in treatment they call that a moment of clarity. ) Of course it didn't stop me from drinking that night but it did start a chain reaction of events that lead me to where I am today.

I did check myself into treatment not long after that event and I have been sober every since. That was on March 3, 2000.

Since that time I have graduated from college with a B.S. in Geography specializing in cultures. I have found the love of my life, Jeff, and we got married on May 27, 2006. Very soon after that we got pregnant (surprise!) and we had Gracie on March 17, 2007. We moved to SC in June of 2007 and we had our son, Donovan, on February 10, 2010.

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have the love of a good man, 2 beautiful children, the support and love of a wonderful family and amazing friendships that have lasted through good and bad. I know that God has a purpose for my life and I am so grateful that He has given me a second chance at living.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

There are some things I just don't understand.

So lately Gracie has been having some separation anxiety. She didn't have this when she was an infant so I guess she is making up for it now. I do understand that kids get this anxiety and that is something I can deal with. I remember when I was younger I had some abandonment issues. I was convinced my mom was going to leave me at the grocery store. Why? I have no idea. As far as I know I was never left anywhere. But I can understand this fear and how it is natural.

Here's what I don't understand.....

She will be telling me how excited she is about going to go do something. How she loves to go to Miss Nan's class at church and play with Jackson and sing songs. She loves to go to gymnastics and tumble on the mat and hop like a bunny. She love to twirl and dance in the mirror at dance class. These are all her words by the way.
Now when we get to where we are going...she begins to panic. She tells me she doesn't want to go and that she wants to go home! And she will scream this...just in case I didn't hear her! Then she will begin to say..."but I love you mommy!"
I really don't get all the mixed signals.
And apparently it is all for me! When Jeff takes her places she has no problem leaving daddy and going to do her thing.
So if someone could explain this to me or give me tips on how to deal with this.....I would much appreciate it!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Cardboard Testimony

On August 1st I participated (along with many other people) in a sermon called Cardboard Testimonies. It was very powerful. On a piece of cardboard I am placed a few words of what my life used to be like (above) and what my life is like today(below). It is amazing how just a few words can say so much about a person. What is your cardboard testimony?