My Story (or at least some of it)

I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. Above all of this I am a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ.

Although, it didn't always used to be this way.

When I was younger I was wreckless and rebellious. I was a deliquent and did many, many things I was not supposed to do. I was very manipulative and had many different faces. I drank and did drugs and witnessed many different things a young person should never have to see. I did believe in God but truly thought He had given up on me and therefore I did not like or respect Him.

Little did I know He had a plan for me.

One day, while drinking myself silly on my balcony with some friends, I heard an inner voice ask me "What the hell are you doing? You deserve so much better than this!" (I believe in treatment they call that a moment of clarity. ) Of course it didn't stop me from drinking that night but it did start a chain reaction of events that lead me to where I am today.

I did check myself into treatment not long after that event and I have been sober every since. That was on March 3, 2000.

Since that time I have graduated from college with a B.S. in Geography specializing in cultures. I have found the love of my life, Jeff, and we got married on May 27, 2006. Very soon after that we got pregnant (surprise!) and we had Gracie on March 17, 2007. We moved to SC in June of 2007 and we had our son, Donovan, on February 10, 2010.

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have the love of a good man, 2 beautiful children, the support and love of a wonderful family and amazing friendships that have lasted through good and bad. I know that God has a purpose for my life and I am so grateful that He has given me a second chance at living.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Lessons Learned

So I have been having going through some small trials these past few weeks and I have been trying to figure out what God is really trying to teach me. At first I thought it was tolerance, which just made me a little made. Then I thought maybe He's trying to show me how to handle criticism better (which in a way goes along with tolerance.) At first I thought 'ok let's do that'. But then something else came up and it just made me even more upset and a little angry.
Then on sunday morning I heard my pastor give a message on being prejudice.
Of course my initial reaction was "well I don't have to worry about that cause I am not prejudice to anyone." Luckily my denial quickly melted away and I realized what God had been trying to show me over the past week. Yes He was showing me tolerance and gave me opportunities to take criticism better but the actual catalyst of these events that took place had to do with being prejudice and insecurities and how all these tie together.
It took me being the victim (for lack of a better word) to realize I also have prejudice thoughts toward people. It also took John's sermon on sunday to realize how truly unfair I was by focusing on a whole group of people instead of just the few encounters I have had in the best.
So, there may have been a little reverse psychology in my teachings recently...I don't know. All I do know is the way He presented it to me helped. I always knew God didn't play favorites and that he loves me just as much as he loves everyone else, regardless of our differences. But I need to remember that more and more when I start having thoughts or feelings towards other people. I need remember how I felt this past week when it was projected onto me.

I am truly thankful He does not give up on us. He is patient in his teachings and knows exactly what we need to learn and when it's time to have that lesson. His timing is so much better than mine. And even though sometimes I resist and might even throw a small temper tantrum (yes that happened this week) I know that He is faithful and will not throw anything at me that I am not ready to handle.