My Story (or at least some of it)

I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. Above all of this I am a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ.

Although, it didn't always used to be this way.

When I was younger I was wreckless and rebellious. I was a deliquent and did many, many things I was not supposed to do. I was very manipulative and had many different faces. I drank and did drugs and witnessed many different things a young person should never have to see. I did believe in God but truly thought He had given up on me and therefore I did not like or respect Him.

Little did I know He had a plan for me.

One day, while drinking myself silly on my balcony with some friends, I heard an inner voice ask me "What the hell are you doing? You deserve so much better than this!" (I believe in treatment they call that a moment of clarity. ) Of course it didn't stop me from drinking that night but it did start a chain reaction of events that lead me to where I am today.

I did check myself into treatment not long after that event and I have been sober every since. That was on March 3, 2000.

Since that time I have graduated from college with a B.S. in Geography specializing in cultures. I have found the love of my life, Jeff, and we got married on May 27, 2006. Very soon after that we got pregnant (surprise!) and we had Gracie on March 17, 2007. We moved to SC in June of 2007 and we had our son, Donovan, on February 10, 2010.

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have the love of a good man, 2 beautiful children, the support and love of a wonderful family and amazing friendships that have lasted through good and bad. I know that God has a purpose for my life and I am so grateful that He has given me a second chance at living.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Church and life

I heard this song this morning coming back from taking Gracie to school. This song really hit me.
I have never met Casting Crowns but some how they wrote a song about my past.
I was running 100mph in the wrong direction and doing things I should not have been doing. I felt like I was screaming for help most of the time but no one heard me.
When I finally did speak up and get some help the last thing I really wanted were 'church goers' talking to me. I felt like they knew nothing about me and what I have been through.
In the past when I did open up to people in the church, I immediately was judged and looked down upon. So how would this be any different.
It took going to AA to find Jesus and bring him back into my heart. A group of drunks showed me that I wasn't alone and I didn't need to be afraid anymore. They gave me the tools to lead a better life, a life with Jesus Christ.
I continued to stay away from church for quite sometime. I still thought they wouldn't understand. How could they? Church people never seemed to have any problems and just delighted talking about people behind their back.
When Jeff and I moved here in 2007 I met someone who was going to a church in Augusta called Quest. Something inside me said 'just go and see. If its not for you at least you can said you tried.'
So Jeff and I went. And what we found was so different from our 'idea' of church.
What I saw at Quest were real people. People that were open and seemed a little more truthful. And when I shared a little bit about my past, they hugged me and welcomed me in. I didn't feel shut out or ignored. I felt loved. I felt like they were genuinely happy to have me there.
It may have taken me years of recovery to finally be able to see what true church is all about. It's just proof God knows what he's doing when it comes to my life. And I am so gratitude he placed people (and continues to place people) in my path that bring me closer to him.

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