I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. Above all of this I am a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ.
Although, it didn't always used to be this way.
When I was younger I was wreckless and rebellious. I was a deliquent and did many, many things I was not supposed to do. I was very manipulative and had many different faces. I drank and did drugs and witnessed many different things a young person should never have to see. I did believe in God but truly thought He had given up on me and therefore I did not like or respect Him.
Little did I know He had a plan for me.
One day, while drinking myself silly on my balcony with some friends, I heard an inner voice ask me "What the hell are you doing? You deserve so much better than this!" (I believe in treatment they call that a moment of clarity. ) Of course it didn't stop me from drinking that night but it did start a chain reaction of events that lead me to where I am today.
I did check myself into treatment not long after that event and I have been sober every since. That was on March 3, 2000.
Since that time I have graduated from college with a B.S. in Geography specializing in cultures. I have found the love of my life, Jeff, and we got married on May 27, 2006. Very soon after that we got pregnant (surprise!) and we had Gracie on March 17, 2007. We moved to SC in June of 2007 and we had our son, Donovan, on February 10, 2010.
I have been blessed in so many ways. I have the love of a good man, 2 beautiful children, the support and love of a wonderful family and amazing friendships that have lasted through good and bad. I know that God has a purpose for my life and I am so grateful that He has given me a second chance at living.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
This is a topic that has been buzzing around in my mind for the past week. I am not quite sure where the term came from or why it even popped into my head.
According to Webster's Dictionary:
Conditional means "Containing or depending on a condition or conditions; made with limitations; not absolute; made or granted on certain terms. A conditional promise is one which is to be performed, when something else stipulated is done or has taken place."
Christian means "A real disciple of Christ; one who believes in the truth of the Christian religion, and studies to follow the example, and obey the precepts, of Christ; a believer in Christ who is characterized by real piety."
Just looking at these definitions it seems like these 2 words should not even go together. To truly be a Christian there should be no conditions or limitations to your faith and love for God. He did not put conditions on us when He sent his only son to die for our sins.
But I know as humans we have a tendency to put conditions on just about anything, including our beliefs.
I would have to say I am guilty of this too. I find myself not always have faith things will turn out and worrying about situations that are not under my control. That's just like saying I trust God but not really over this one situation (for whatever reason). Worry is actually a form of not trusting God. So basically this is just like putting conditions on my relationship with God.
I also find myself not giving Him glory and praise as much as I should. In a way that's kind of like taking credit for the good things and situations in my life; giving all the glory to myself or other things. Not acknowledging something is ignoring it.
These are just examples and I really could go on.
In Celebrate Recovery and in AA there are steps to take to help work through the issues and situations in your life. Steps that help you overcome obstacles. The first step is admitting there is a problem and that my life is unmanageable.
So I guess God planted this term in my mind and heart to get me started on a new journey. I see how I have been putting conditions on my Christian faith and even though my life is not unmanageable as of yet, without putting Christ at the center of my life and under every circumstance, I recognize how my life would be complete chaos and totally unmanageable.