My Story (or at least some of it)

I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. Above all of this I am a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ.

Although, it didn't always used to be this way.

When I was younger I was wreckless and rebellious. I was a deliquent and did many, many things I was not supposed to do. I was very manipulative and had many different faces. I drank and did drugs and witnessed many different things a young person should never have to see. I did believe in God but truly thought He had given up on me and therefore I did not like or respect Him.

Little did I know He had a plan for me.

One day, while drinking myself silly on my balcony with some friends, I heard an inner voice ask me "What the hell are you doing? You deserve so much better than this!" (I believe in treatment they call that a moment of clarity. ) Of course it didn't stop me from drinking that night but it did start a chain reaction of events that lead me to where I am today.

I did check myself into treatment not long after that event and I have been sober every since. That was on March 3, 2000.

Since that time I have graduated from college with a B.S. in Geography specializing in cultures. I have found the love of my life, Jeff, and we got married on May 27, 2006. Very soon after that we got pregnant (surprise!) and we had Gracie on March 17, 2007. We moved to SC in June of 2007 and we had our son, Donovan, on February 10, 2010.

I have been blessed in so many ways. I have the love of a good man, 2 beautiful children, the support and love of a wonderful family and amazing friendships that have lasted through good and bad. I know that God has a purpose for my life and I am so grateful that He has given me a second chance at living.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Spiritual Warfare

Do you ever just feel like you might be under attack?  Like there is something working against you?  Nothing seems to be going your way?  No matter how hard you try there are evil forces that seem one step ahead of you?

I have noticed and witnessed to some mischievous,  hurtful behaviors and painful situations happening lately, not just in my life but in the lives of the people around me. 
Many of which are heart breaking and sad.  It very much seems like there is an attack on us and the people around us.  This much pain and destruction does not just happen naturally.  It is provoked.  I personally feel it is the evil one trying to stir things up.  He wants us to fall and loose faith in God.  This is his job and purpose.
I have been thinking about this lately.  About why would all this craziness and hard times be happening to us.  I know there has to be suffering in the world.  I know there is a reason for everything that happens and I firmly believe God sees us through it all.  Even when we inflict it upon ourselves, He's there watching us and trying to guide us back to the light.  I also feel that if you are doing His will and following His purpose, that just makes Satan even more mad.  When we follow His will, we show up on Satan's radar.  All of a sudden, you are a threat.  And Satan's purpose and goal is to steer you away from the kingdom and make you loose faith.
I was reading a book about this not that long ago and it used the imagery of  Satan in a board meeting with his demons.  It talked about imaging Satan in the morning with his demons having a meeting about the upcoming events and their daily plan.  The book asked if during the meeting when your name was mentioned, what would Satan's reaction be?  Would he say, "Don't worry about this one.  He/She is doing enough damage on their own."  Or would he say, "This is the one we need to pay attention too.  We are losing the battle with this one and we need to step up our game with them."  I thought that was a really interesting and it really made me think.  Does Satan view me as a threat?
I think this is what is happening here.  I think Satan is threatened by some of the activities and level of faith going on in my life and the lives of family and friends around me.  I know I am following down the path that God has chosen for me.  I know what I am doing right now is trying to accomplish my purpose here on earth so that I can perform my purpose in heaven one day.  (Yes, we will have a purpose in heaven)  And because I am on the path He has chosen for me, I have become a threat.  The friends and family around me has become a threat.  Therefore, the attack is more intentional and fierce.
Now, the one thing I have noticed that is different from earlier attacks for me is I am turning to God more.  I am not detouring like before (even though I sometimes want to).  I am staying the course and talking to God every step of the way.  I am in constant communication with Him about this plan and about the others around me.  My faith seems to be getting stronger, not weaker.  I know Satan knows me.  I know he knows my weaknesses.  I know he knows what worked in the past and he will probably try to use it against me.  But I don't think he is factoring in the relationship I have with God now.  My relationship with God is much stronger than it was before.  And it is becoming stronger.
I am very excited about my future here are earth and my future when I get to finally go home.  I know I am viewed as a threat by the evil one but that just means I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.  I also know that he will be defeated.  He may keep trying to remind me of my past and I know what is coming in his future!

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