A man, a flood and God

There was a very heavy rain storm in this small town and the town began to flood due to the amount of rain. There was a man inside his home that was certain that God would come a save him. The town began to evacuate because the rain was not letting up and the waters were getting deeper. The mans next door neighbor offered a ride to the man but his response was simply, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Some time past and the waters became deeper so the man had to move up to the second floor of his house. Another boat came by and the passengers shouted to the man to come aboard the boat to get to safety. The man simply replied, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Some more time past and the waters began to get so deep that the man had no choice but to move up to the roof of the house. A third boat came by and offered the man help and begged him to please get in the boat so they could take him to safety. The man simply replied, "I have faith in God and He will save me."

Sadly the man drowned in the flood.

When the man got to heaven he immediately demanded to see God. When he was taken to God he said to Him, "I had faith in You all my life. I never doubted You. And when I needed you the most, You weren't there. Why didn't You save me from the flood?"

God said, "Didn't you see the 3 boats I sent for you?!"

This story crosses my mind from time to time and I have always found it interesting. I think some of us get so consumed with life and even though we want help, we don't ask for it or even take it when it's offered. Some of us get caught in waiting on God to show up and help that we forget He works through people. We fail to see He is in all of us and He wants to help us every step of the way. He truly wants what is best for us.

We may not always agree on what is best for us. Someone told me once that Gods will and our will are actually the same but we struggle over which path is better to take. We all want to choose our own path and have control over our lives, usually because we think our path will be easier. But Gods will is always better and the path He leads us down might be more uncomfortable and difficult but will have a much better reward.

God said we should seek Him first. I know it's real easy to put ourselves first and to focus our view on our own little worlds. I think if we could just look past ourselves just a little bit, step outside of our comfort zones and what we are used to, we would see things beyond our imagination. We would see and begin to know what we are truly capable of doing and being. We could even start to come to an understanding with each and we could all know peace.

Unconditional Love

I have been reminded recently that there are some people in this life you can't always count on. There are some people that put conditions on what should be unconditional love. A fact that is very sad and heart breaking.

But something I need to keep in mind is that people are human. And humans can only love to the best of their ability.

He is the only One who can truly love unconditionally and He is the only One that knows exactly what that means. I think this is one of the reasons we are supposed to seek Him above all others.

We may not always get the affirmation or edification we are seeking from family or other loved ones. But God's message to us is that we truly matter to Him. He loved us so much that he sent His only Son to die for us. He laid down His life for ours. No other love can compare to that.

This is something I know I need to remember. That when I feel like I am not really cared for or even all that loved. I, in fact, have been given the greatest gift and love of all!

Lessons Learned

So I have been having going through some small trials these past few weeks and I have been trying to figure out what God is really trying to teach me. At first I thought it was tolerance, which just made me a little made. Then I thought maybe He's trying to show me how to handle criticism better (which in a way goes along with tolerance.) At first I thought 'ok let's do that'. But then something else came up and it just made me even more upset and a little angry.

Then on sunday morning I heard my pastor give a message on being prejudice.

Of course my initial reaction was "well I don't have to worry about that cause I am not prejudice to anyone." Luckily my denial quickly melted away and I realized what God had been trying to show me over the past week. Yes He was showing me tolerance and gave me opportunities to take criticism better but the actual catalyst of these events that took place had to do with being prejudice and insecurities and how all these tie together.

It took me being the victim (for lack of a better word) to realize I also have prejudice thoughts toward people. It also took John's sermon on sunday to realize how truly unfair I was by focusing on a whole group of people instead of just the few encounters I have had in the best.

So, there may have been a little reverse psychology in my teachings recently...I don't know. All I do know is the way He presented it to me helped. I always knew God didn't play favorites and that he loves me just as much as he loves everyone else, regardless of our differences. But I need to remember that more and more when I start having thoughts or feelings towards other people. I need remember how I felt this past week when it was projected onto me.

I am truly thankful He does not give up on us. He is patient in his teachings and knows exactly what we need to learn and when it's time to have that lesson. His timing is so much better than mine. And even though sometimes I resist and might even throw a small temper tantrum (yes that happened this week) I know that He is faithful and will not throw anything at me that I am not ready to handle.

Birthdays

So tomorrow I turn yet another year old. I have been thinking about all the years past and how much I have accomplished....and yet still the things I want to accomplish.
I am actually pretty content where my life is right now. Yes I still want to keep moving forward and there are things I wish I had. But that's just what they are....they are things. And by having them or not having them will not dramatically change my life for the better or worse.
I am truly happy and peacefully at this moment in time. And I am so excited about the work God is doing in my life and I look forward to another 31 years (and more) on this earth.

Church and life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEhRucEVzH8

I heard this song this morning coming back from taking Gracie to school. This song really hit me.

I have never met Casting Crowns but some how they wrote a song about my past.

I was running 100mph in the wrong direction and doing things I should not have been doing. I felt like I was screaming for help most of the time but no one heard me.

When I finally did speak up and get some help the last thing I really wanted were 'church goers' talking to me. I felt like they knew nothing about me and what I have been through.

In the past when I did open up to people in the church, I immediately was judged and looked down upon. So how would this be any different.

It took going to AA to find Jesus and bring him back into my heart. A group of drunks showed me that I wasn't alone and I didn't need to be afraid anymore. They gave me the tools to lead a better life, a life with Jesus Christ.

I continued to stay away from church for quite sometime. I still thought they wouldn't understand. How could they? Church people never seemed to have any problems and just delighted talking about people behind their back.

When Jeff and I moved here in 2007 I met someone who was going to a church in Augusta called Quest. Something inside me said 'just go and see. If its not for you at least you can said you tried.'

So Jeff and I went. And what we found was so different from our 'idea' of church.

What I saw at Quest were real people. People that were open and seemed a little more truthful. And when I shared a little bit about my past, they hugged me and welcomed me in. I didn't feel shut out or ignored. I felt loved. I felt like they were genuinely happy to have me there.

It may have taken me years of recovery to finally be able to see what true church is all about. It's just proof God knows what he's doing when it comes to my life. And I am so gratitude he placed people (and continues to place people) in my path that bring me closer to him.

Holidays

Christmas. This is one the the most wonderful times of the year (and not just because there is a song that says so). This is the time of year when people seem to smile a little bit easier, open their hearts a little bit more and give a little more freely. This is also the time of year we get the celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ together.

But Christmas is not the only holiday that is celebrated this time of year.

There is also Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

Gracie has been learning about these holidays in school and has been telling me all about them. I am thrilled she is learning about different backgrounds and cultures. She knows what her family believes and has told us many times that she also believes Jesus is her King and the son of God. But she also seems very sensitive to other traditions and beliefs and I think that is a good thing.

But having said that she has been asking us a lot of questions about holidays. In these series of questions we have had to explain the differences in holidays and how other peoples beliefs are not the same as ours.

That's when she asked the question we were not expecting.

"Who's right mommy?" I had no idea what to say. So, I simply said "Let's ask daddy when he gets home." (I have discussed it with Jeff so he would be aware if the question came up again.)

Who is right? This has had me thinking lately. A part of me really wants to say that we are right as Christians but the other part of me doesn't want to say that because I want her to keep an open mind. I want her to be able to make her own decisions and respect the decisions of others. I want her to have relationships with other people of different cultures. This is how we learn, grow and reach understanding. And with understanding comes peace, which is what I want for my children.

Plus I had this image in my head of her telling a little Jewish girl at school that she was wrong and that we are right. The last thing I want is to start some kind of religious rivalry up at her school.

I think her curiosity is healthy and I am very glad she feels comfortable talking to us and asking us questions. I think curiosity leads to creativity. And I am very proud of my curious, and creative, little girl.

Tolerance

I have had so much on my mind lately. I don't know if its just this time of year or the seasons changing in my life. But I have been real mindful lately.

I feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson in tolerance. I have been noticing things and attitudes from family, friends, acquintances, even strangers that have had me thinking. Frankly I have been getting a little bit annoyed and I feel like I shouldn't be. I feel like these are many things and feelings I should just let go. But for some reason, I am having trouble doing that. I also feel like if I say anything or give any particular examples that I will be rude and I definitely don't want that.

So I think if God is teaching me a little bit about tolerance, I would appreciate more than just opportunities to be tolerant. (I know, careful what you wish for) I would like so methods on how to be tolerant and letting some of these feelings go. Completely turning them over to Him. I know by doing this I will me making more room for Him to fill up my life and be at peace. But sometimes that is a lot easier said than done.

So God please send a way for me to work through these feelings, thoughts and emotions as them come. Please help me to give them to you and not take them back. You have always handled things way better than I ever could. Thanks.