But as I have been working on this and participating in discussions, such as our small group at church, it is becoming more and more clear that Jesus loves me and you the same. Regardless of our flaws, defects, hurts, hang ups, habits and brokenness. He loves us for exactly the way that we are.
Now, having said that, that doesn't mean it is an excuse or reason to be judgmental. This is the part I am focusing on right now. It simply means that Jesus loves us and wants us to seek Him for His help in overcoming our defects. Through Christ, all things are possible. Even overcoming difficult character defects.
I am focusing on judgment right now cause it seems to be the one thing that keeps coming up. I have realized that sometimes I am not even aware I am being judgmental until after the fact. Because sometimes it can come across as teasing or even joking.
Now it's one thing to be picking on yourself a little bit but its a completely different story all together when you are doing it about someone you may not even know and/or without their knowledge. And it's sad that this is the easiest form of judging and the person can't even defend themselves because they may not even be aware it is happening.
I used to be paranoid about people judging me. I seriously thought that when I walked by and I saw people whispering or laughing that they were talking and laughing about me. Selfish thinking, maybe and with time I have overcome that fear. I also know now that I had that fear because that's exactly what I did to other people. So I just naturally assumed they were doing that to me.
So, now I am a little more aware of my thoughts and actions. I do ask for forgiveness when a thought creeps in and I immediately look for something in the person that is positive. Even if it just the color they are wearing looks great on them. And I try to focus on that.
Anyway, so pray for progress. Because that's all we are anyway....a work in progress!