Books and Patience

I, for the longest time, was not a reader. I didn't like to read. In fact, most of the time when I read a book it made me feel dumb and slow. My mind would always wonder and the books could not keep my attention.

As an adult I have come to enjoy reading a little bit more. Probably because I get to pick what I want to read now. The problem I have now is the time to read. But I am learning to manage my time for me a little bit better.

I just finished (today in fact) a book my cousin gave to me called 'Redeeming Love' by Francis Rivers. This is an amazing book. It is a christian/inspirational love story about a girl who overcomes her horrid past and how God's love and grace can truly be forgiving. The book is based off of the story of Hosea and Gomer in the bible.

When I first started reading this book I really didn't want to go any further than the prologue. It was very depressing and sad to read about this little girl and all the pain she was going through. I contacted my cousin and asked why on earth she would give me such a horrible book. She told me to just keep reading and I did. And I am so glad I did.

I can relate so much to this woman in the book. Granted my childhood was no where near the tragedy of hers but many things that happened to her has also happened to me. So I completely understand her emotions and anger and her desire to keep them tucked away inside.

The ending of the book, however, is what really hit home with me today.

If you have been reading my blog you know that I have been trying to realize what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Which direction should I take.

At the end of the book this woman is based with the same problem. Not knowing where to go, she finally turns to God. (Which my previous blog explains how I just did the same thing.) And then she was patient and waited for an answer. And God presented the opportunity.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

I don't know why but it just hit me after reading this book. I swear it was like he whispered that in my ear right when I closed the book.

So I made the decision to give into Him and be patient. (Oh my mother would be thrilled!) I realize there are probably many things that have to fall into places in order for God to present me my opportunity. And just like everything else, those things take time.

So thank you to my sweet cousin for passing this book along to me. You knew more than I how much I needed it!

Decisions

I have been having some trouble lately making up my mind on what I really want to do with my life. The problem is there are so many things I would love to do and that I really enjoy doing. Jeff and I have been bouncing ideas off of each other now for about a year. I still have not come to a decision.

Yesterday I took the step in finally asking God what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Which direction am I supposed to go in? I asked him if he could even politely smack me in the face with it so I would know what He wants. Yep, I asked God to smack me in the face!

They one definite thing I know for sure is I want to help people. I have always enjoyed serving and giving to others. I am just not sure how I am supposed to help people.

So, I don't think he has answered me yet. He is still trying to get me to be patient and I have been resistant. So I would imagine He will continue His teachings before He gives me an answer. That's all right with me. Let His will be done!

Jesus Loves Me

I have been thinking lately that I can be very judgmental. Yes, its true! It is a characteristic about me that I really don't like. I am either quick to judge certain people and I am quick to think they are judging me. Or this could be how I justify judging people.

But as I have been working on this and participating in discussions, such as our small group at church, it is becoming more and more clear that Jesus loves me and you the same. Regardless of our flaws, defects, hurts, hang ups, habits and brokenness. He loves us for exactly the way that we are.

Now, having said that, that doesn't mean it is an excuse or reason to be judgmental. This is the part I am focusing on right now. It simply means that Jesus loves us and wants us to seek Him for His help in overcoming our defects. Through Christ, all things are possible. Even overcoming difficult character defects.

I am focusing on judgment right now cause it seems to be the one thing that keeps coming up. I have realized that sometimes I am not even aware I am being judgmental until after the fact. Because sometimes it can come across as teasing or even joking.

Now it's one thing to be picking on yourself a little bit but its a completely different story all together when you are doing it about someone you may not even know and/or without their knowledge. And it's sad that this is the easiest form of judging and the person can't even defend themselves because they may not even be aware it is happening.

I used to be paranoid about people judging me. I seriously thought that when I walked by and I saw people whispering or laughing that they were talking and laughing about me. Selfish thinking, maybe and with time I have overcome that fear. I also know now that I had that fear because that's exactly what I did to other people. So I just naturally assumed they were doing that to me.

So, now I am a little more aware of my thoughts and actions. I do ask for forgiveness when a thought creeps in and I immediately look for something in the person that is positive. Even if it just the color they are wearing looks great on them. And I try to focus on that.

Anyway, so pray for progress. Because that's all we are anyway....a work in progress!

Celebrate Recovery

So next week (Sept 30th) our church will be launching a new ministry called Celebrate Recovery. We will be meeting at the Quest facilities every thursday night starting at 7pm. I will be helping lead the group in this ministry and I am so excited about this. This is a great way to show people how God truly does love us all, even though we are broken. He loves us, even though we sin. He loves us through all of our hurts, hang ups, and habits.

I know there is a reason I went through some of the pains and disappointments. I know there is a reason God kept me on this earth and saved me from death. I do not fully understand the reasoning and I am still learning to know my true purpose for why I am still here.

But I do know that I can use my past events and struggles to help someone with theirs today. I know that I didn't go through what I did so that it could just be brushed aside and never spoken of or thought about again. But they can be used as a tool to show God's awesome love and grace.

Father I thank you so much for the many blessings that I have in my life. There were so many times You could have given up on me and You did not. I am so thankful for that.

I am so grateful for this opportunity in being a leader for this upcoming ministry and for being at a place in my life where I can be a leader.

I pray that people will be open to this new ministry. I hope that when they come in they will be willing to let the walls down. May they open their ears and hearts. May they feel a sense of welcome and community.

I pray that we can be open enough to allow You to work and speak through us. I hope that we can say the words someone needs to hear and be the example that someone needs to see.

Please give us the strength and courage to be honest and open with the people that will be coming into this ministry. Help us to all understand that this will be a time of celebrating each other and the love that You have for us; regardless of our flaws and imperfections.

Scoops 'n' Beans

So Jeff and I have been trying to decide if we want to pursue establishing our own traditional business. We are discussing the possibility of opening our own coffee and ice cream shop. We would probably do this in the neighborhood we are in right now.

Along with serving coffee and ice cream we would also have a small menu of salads, sandwiches, soups, and of course pastries. (It wouldn't be a coffee shop without pastries!)

We are just in the preliminary stages right now. We will be going to talk with the city and the small business administration to get more info. But we would love some feedback.

So please, what are your thoughts?

Faith

I have been reading a lot lately about faith. Many of the bible verses that have been coming into my head are about this subject. I think this is God's way of trying to tell me something.

Now I have a tendency to think I have a great deal of faith but I have noticed (recently) that this is usually when things in my life are getting hectic and stressful. I know during these times God is there by my side, faithfully helping and teaching me every step of the way.

However, when things are calm and collected and everyone is well and happy, I have noticed I don't pay much attention to God then.

Don't get me wrong, I know he is always there. But I think I take the 'good times' for granted; not realizing I still need to have the faith in Him that he will continue to deliver on His promises and see those promises through.

So I think it is time to 'flex my spiritual muscles'. I need to remember to carry my faith with me in everything I do with my life and in every situation that arises. Regardless of the situations in my life, even the good ones, God will always rise to the occasion and will continue to be faithful. So I need to remain faithful as well.

There is a very short poem that I read recently that did help put things into some perspective.
The poem is called "To Walk By Faith" by Wava Campbell.

To walk by faith is such a great adventure;

It thills the spirit every passing day;

To see God's hand, to know whatever happens,

He understands and He will lead the way.

To walk by sight is something very tragic;

It makes the spirit droop, the heart grow cold.

It makes the Christian plan and fume and fumble;

It makes his body feel so tired and old.

Just how to walk life's road is our decision.

God leaves the choice with us and us alone.

But if we choose to walk by sight, we'll see not.

By faith His will is seen and felt and known.

Random Act of Kindness

Today as I was headed to Fresh Market after picking Gracie from school I witnessed a great random act of kindness between strangers.
Washington Rd was backed up with the lunch hour traffic. (Anyone who lives in Augusta knows what Washington Rd can be like.) A man in a early 90s Toyota Corolla was broke down in the center lane. I could tell he was having a very hard time moving his vehicle by himself. On the other side of Washington Rd came a police officer. The man waved his hand to signal the cop and the cop (who are supposed to SERVE and protect) kept driving. I was appalled by this. I was about to pull over when 3 other men pulled over to help the gentleman. One man was in his work vehicle (probably on his lunch break) and the other 2 men were in a Mercedes.
As I slowly made my way passed the broken down car with 4 men pushing it into a parking lot, I saw the look on the man's face. He was so grateful.
I was so happy to see people out there still helping people. I think sometimes we get so caught up in our own little worlds that we forget about others. We become selfish.
So thank you to the 3 men who helped that man with his car. It was a great reminder of how we are supposed to be here for one another!